I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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