i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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