im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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