I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
