Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
