69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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