Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
