P.S. I can't hear my feet
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
