he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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