That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
