yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
