i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
