So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
