is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize