i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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