HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There r osticjed everywhere
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
