3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
