I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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