Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
