Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
