why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
