Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
