I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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