wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
