he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
