Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
