hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
