He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
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