We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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