If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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