we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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