So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
