I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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