drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am mentally ready for anal.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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