I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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