Don't EVER smell your tampon
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
