I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
