Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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