he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
