summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
