You're a womanizer and a bitch.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I want her autograph on my taint
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
