he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
