I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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