i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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