Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
