is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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