Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
