Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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