WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
