then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
