they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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