Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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