this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
