Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
