Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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