is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
