If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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