I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
