I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
