the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
